Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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