My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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