Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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