someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
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she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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