Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
