dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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