White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I wear drunk well.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
