some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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