you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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