Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
