I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
