New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize