'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
