accomplished twins. life is a go
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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