hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
