Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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