1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize