i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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