Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
