so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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