i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
