i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
