We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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