It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
