her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
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It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
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I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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