but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
