Sacagawea was the original milf.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
