Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize