he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
