Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
