I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
