i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
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I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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