I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
