I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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