I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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