yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
