A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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