That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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