once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
the day after is always just damage control
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize