puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
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I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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