saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Terrible idea I love it
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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