Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
