Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
