I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
