I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
