she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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