just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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