i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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