Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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