the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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