there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
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so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
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I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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