If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
