whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you didnt know i had herpes?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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