guys are not supposed to queef...right?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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