I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
