he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
