They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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