VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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